Peer Pressure vs Morals

Hi everyone,

I need to remind everyone of this;  whatever I write in these blogs are: my testimonies, experiences, struggles, things I have witnessed, my beliefs and my opinions.  I am NOT a counselor or psychologist.  Now that that is out of the way, lets dig into this topic.

Last week in class, we were looking at the history of Early Childhood Education and we were checking out Socrates.  I was impressed with how they said he sought to discover the universal principle of truth, beauty and goodness, which he believed should govern human conduct.  This Athenian Philosopher stressed the ethical principle that a person should strive for moral excellence…..Wow!!! moral excellence!!! Is it possible?
My opinion is that we all should strive to attain moral excellence.  Lets get into the meat of the matter.

According to dictionary.com morals are:

1. concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical: moral attitudes.
2. expressing or conveying truths or counsel as to right conduct, as a speaker or a literary work.
3. founded on the fundamental principles of right conduct rather than on legalities, enactment, or custom: moral obligations.
4. capable of conforming to the rules of right conduct: a moral being.
5. conforming to the rules of right conduct ( opposed to immoral ): a moral man

Here are a few synonyms for the word moral: integrity, behaviour, morality, conduct, manners, belief and ethics…..  Therefore morals are doing and being good.  Check this comic strip out.  What will poor Deb do?  Will she succumb to peer pressure or stand up for her morals?  What would you do in a situation like this?

What is peer pressure?                                                                                                                           Dictionary.com say that peer pressure is social pressure by members of one’s peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be accepted.

All of us have dealt with peer pressure at one time or another.  I can remember in my teenage years, my best friend who was younger than I was called me one day and told me all the gross details of how she gave away her virginity.  I was shocked and felt stupid.  What do I mean by that?  Well, after I was given every last detail and we hung up.  My thoughts were, how could that have happen?  I am older than she was and she went and had sex before me.  I was stupidly determined to get a boyfriend and do the same.  I felt like I was behind in this game and that I had to keep up with her.  I felt pressured indirectly to follow my best friend.  After all what was wrong with having sex if my bestie was doing it.  Long story short, I did not look for a boyfriend and I did not have sex.  Actually, I gave my heart to the Lord shortly after that.   No, not like a week after.  Maybe months after.  Thank you God…:) 🙂  So I kept my morals in tact here because it was my belief that we were to be married before having sex.  Yes, even as a teenager that was my belief and of course I still believe that today.

I know it’s not just about being pressured to have sex.  It is also being pressured to: do drugs, steal, hate, bully others, wear inappropriate clothing – to show all your God given assets, to disrespect people or your parents because only cool kids do that.  NOT!!!  It’s being pressured to: deny being a Christian or to hide it.  I was pressured too but I got saved early and so God helped my not to succumb to certain things but there were a few that I did succumb to and I regret those up to this day.

What am I saying?  If you are being pressured to do anyone of these things I listed, I implore you/urge you to tell a responsibly adult about it.  Tell your parents if you can, your pastor or a school counselor.

It is your life and you are the one who will have to face the consequence/s.  Keep your morals in tact, keep your integrity in tact.  It is not cool to the wrong, IT IS STUPID!!!!!

May God’s wisdom guide us.

Talk soon

The battlefield – our MINDS – pt 3

Hey everyone,

I truly hope that everyone that has viewed/read the blogs I write are being impacted positively.

Getting right to it.  It is good to be compassionate and to empathize with those who need it but it can be harmful to sympathize with people who need to be told the truth in love or to be shown some “tough love”.  Have I lost you?  Remember the blog of the young lady I wrote about, she has an addition of cutting herself?  Well, as I read the commends of most of the persons that said something, I realized that most of them were not helping her by what they were saying.  They were encouraging her to continue this destructive behavior.  Most of them were being sympathetic but not encouraging her to stop.  Most of them were not trying to help her to see that she can be free from hurting herself.

Over the years, I have been through what felt like hell and back and it was in those times that I wanted people to come to my party.  You know that party; the self-pity party.  I would invite my friends but they declined most of the times.  They did give me gifts though, gifts of “tough love” which was the truth.  They would tell me like it was.  No sugar-coating or cherries on top.  They would use the word of God because they knew that I was loosing the battle in my mind and that I was allowing Satan to take over.  I hated those times because it hurt to hear what I did not want to hear or to hear the same thing over and over again.  I hated facing the truth in those moments because I was deluded by the hurt I was experiencing and it felt safe and comfortable hiding behind these pity parties.  I bet it is the same feeling those of you have, who practice self-harm by: cutting, smoking, drink, being promiscuous, taking drugs….Am I right?

Hiding from our problems only delays our healing/freedom.  You might say, who are you to talk?  You don’t know my situation.  You don’t know what I have been through.  You don’t know what I am going through.  You would be right.  I don’t know your situations or what you have or is going through.  I will say this nevertheless, you are not the first person to go through whatever it is.  There are many people in the very same position right now.  You will not get over them by hiding or hating.  You will not get over those situations by allowing the devil to control your thoughts and your life.  You will not be healed or freed by locking everyone out.   You will not be freed by locking God out.  You will not be healed/freed by having those pity parties.  You will not get well if you continue to listen to people who keep “beating around the brush” with the truth.

People that loves you, will tell you the truth without tearing you down.

The next thing is this, you have to want to healed/freed/delivered.  You have to become tired and angry with those bondage.  You have to become so “fed up” with: the darkness-Satan, the emptiness, the constant hurting and pain, the self loathing, that ache that makes you feel like there is a festering soar in your soul, your mind being filled with all the hurtful thoughts constantly….. you can fill in the rest.  Then make the choice not to say there.  Make the choice not to stay in the darkness.   It is your choice!  My choice!  Our choice!

Okay, so we know that it is our choice, what’s the next step?

Share what you are going through with someone you know you can trust.  someone who will not share your business with anyone, unless you say they can.  Share with your parents maybe, find a counselor at school, church or in your community.  Talk about it and be totally honest.  Get out of the dark rooms.  Open your windows, let some light shine and fresh air in.  Read books or surf the net and find stories about people who have gone through what you have or is going through and hear what they have to say about how they were helped.  Stay away though from those who tells you to pray to: statues, animals, burn incense,  fortune tellers, sell your house and everything you own and live in the hills etc etc.  Most importantly, pray to God Almighty through Jesus Christ and ask Him to help you.  Ask Him to show you that He is God by revealing Himself to you.

I believe that God the Holy Spirit can heal you/us, if we allow Him to.  It may not be an immediate healing, as well as it could be immediate for you.  I will always profess that I am a Christian and I profess that Jesus Christ is Lord.  If you would like to ask Jesus Christ into your life, pray this prayer:                                                  Dear Jesus, I admit that I am a sinner and  I have done many things that are wrong.  I am sorry Lord, please forgive me.  I ask you right now to come into my life as my Lord and Saviour, in Jesus’ name.  Amen.  One more thing, also ask God to send His people to you and to lead you to the church He wants you to attend.

God loves you and is waiting on you.

Shalom

Talk soon

The battlefield – our MINDS – pt 2

We can all recover from those devastating occurrences of the past or maybe we are going through one now.  It too can and shall pass.  You can have victory over these hardship through Christ Jesus.

I am aware that mental illnesses can and does triggers some of these destructive behaviours and I am also aware that in cases such as these, people lean-to the conclusion that they have no choice.  They believe and accept the lie, that there is no hope of recovery.  I encourage you today, to never accept the lies that there is no hope for you or that you are better off dead.  That is the darkness/devil talking, not God.  God’s plans for us is never to harm us.

Continuing on mental illnesses, aside from the fact that there are: medications, counselling, care groups, etc.  There is the restorer of what seem incapable of restoration.  He is our creator and if He, God Almighty created us then surely He can fix us.  Not to get too spiritual on you but whatever I speak about, I have evidence that it works.  Here is the evidence, one of my dearest friends has Bipolar disorder.  Here is a brief definition of what Bipolar disorder is according to helpguide.org

Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) causes serious shifts in mood, energy, thinking, and behavior–from the highs of mania on one extreme, to the lows of depression on the other. More than just a fleeting good or bad mood, the cycles of bipolar disorder last for days, weeks, or months. And unlike ordinary mood swings, the mood changes of bipolar disorder are so intense that they interfere with your ability to function.

During a manic episode, a person might impulsively quit a job, charge up huge amounts on credit cards, or feel rested after sleeping two hours. During a depressive episode, the same person might be too tired to get out of bed and full of self-loathing and hopelessness over being unemployed and in debt.

My friend would have attacks regular after the disorder was diagnosed. The right mix of medication had to be taken and numerous trips to the psychologist had to take place.  The attacks have decreased since receiving Christ Jesus as Saviour.  Last year, there were no attacks what so ever.  Life is great!  Still serving God while attending university full-time and for a second degree.  A healthy relationship with a prospective life partner.  I am seeing marriage in the near future.  My friend is a mentor, who has had tremendous success in helping a young person turn his/her life around.  This young person has shown such great improvement in character and integrity.  This person is blossoming as a Christian.  So, who can convince me that there is no hope for persons struggling with mental disorders?  With Christ Jesus nothing is impossible.

PART 3 COMING SOON!!!!!!

Who is in control of your mind/life??????

Talk soon

The battlefield – our MINDS

A lot of us are afraid of the spiritual realm   We are afraid to admit that there is a devil and that there are demons lurking around.  Many live in denial because of this fear.  Well, guess what, the devil/Satan and his demons are here.  The bible says ” Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”  Therefore, whether we believe it or not: the devil is real, his demons are real, the spiritual realm is real, hell is real, God Almighty is real, angels are real, heaven is real.

We were created with the ability to make choices.  God did not create us as robots. hehe.  Our minds, control the decisions we make hence, whoever has control over our minds, has control over our lives.  When I was a child I loved watching television, I was addicted to television.  I remember watching cartoons such as Tom and Jerry.  I loved those two 🙂  Anyway, there were moments when Tom had to make a choice between good or evil.  Then two angels would appear, one red and one white;  the red one represented evil and the other good.  My point is, the choices we make reveals who is in control over our minds and lives.

I read this very interesting blog today that I had to reblog.  This beloved young lady was sharing her experience on cutting.  Now cutting is somewhat new to me.  My first encounter with persons that used to cut and that was still cutting was at a camp I went to in the summer of last year.  I found out about a camper that still had the addition of cutting around a day before the end of camp.  Thank God!  A counsellor shared her testimony that very morning about how she was a cutter and God set her free.  The camper went to speak with her at the end of devotions.   I did not speak with her about it because I could not relate or understood why it is done.

In the blog I mentioned earlier, this beloved young lady spoke about the darkness in her life and over whelming emotions.  She spoke about not wanting to kill herself and that cutting was a relief for her, to see the scars, to see the blood seeping was a relief from the emotions, the darkness.  When I read her blog my heart was deeply sadden because the darkness she speaks about is the devil and he has control over her mind.  I will share an instance I had allowed the devil control over my mind.

I had the most wonderful job working with children in the mountains, I was happy and passionate for God.  Then unfortunately, I got into a relationship and had my heart-broken.  I thought we were going to be married because I was told by this person to go on the internet and choose the rings I liked and he and I also went and looked at rings.  The relationship ended and I was devastated.  I was a big load of mess;  I barely ate, all I could do was weep.  I was hurt, angry at God, this guy, his mother and myself.  I was filled with hatred, guilt, resentment, bitterness etc etc.  I could hardly sleep.  I only took naps and the very moment I was awake all the pain and thoughts would jump on me.  That is exactly how it felt.  My every waking moment was filled with: anger, hurt and how could this have happen, why did this happen, why didn’t God protect me and He says He loves me.

I had given control to darkness/the devil/Satan by entertaining all the hatred, bitterness and forgiveness.  I can remember sitting outside at the windiest area on the mountain weeping and trying to be so cold that I would maybe become numb.  I was hoping that being cold enough would be so painful to alleviate the emotional pain and heartache I was experiencing.  I believe what I was doing is called self-harm.   I thought about committing suicide but the fear of going to hell over rode that thought.  There are no words to express the heart wrenching pain I was going through.  It hurt even to breathe or to get out of the bed each day.  The devil had control over my mind and life.  He was trying to kill, destroy and steal my life.  Guess what?  He could have done it with ease too because I had allowed him to control my mind but my Heavenly Father would not allow him to.

It is not easy, by no means.  Sometimes we are floored by devastating emotional hurt and it seems like there is no getting over them but……

TO BE CONTINUED…

Talk Soon.

.

   

 

Share this:

I am speechless right now yet more knowledgeable of why people cut. I went to a camp in the Summer and one of the girls I was in charge of is a cutter. I saw it like a day before camp was over but I did not know what to say to her. I did not understand it. It was my first encounter with someone who cut themselves. You say you don’t see yourself ever stopping and that is the saddest statement you have made in your blog. I say that because you can be free from cutting and the darkness that you speak about.

zoloftlife.

Reactions from people are varied when they find out that I cut. From the, “Did it really get that bad? They’re not little cuts. Why do you cut? Why would you do that to yourself? Doesn’t it hurt? You’re just attention seeking.” All the way through to the begging, pleading you to stop. Getting angry at you for doing it again. And again. And again.

I’d put it down to several things. Curiosity. Fear. Love. Caring. Compassion. Lack of education, or experience, of mental illness. Ignorance.

Especially ignorance.

I’ve wanted to write about cutting for a long time now. The way my head analyses the cutting, anyway. I’ve never been sure how to start.

Well.

I guess I start here. Did it really get that bad? Uh, yeah. It is probably still that bad. Apart from the obvious that you have to be pretty screwed up…

View original post 2,447 more words

Here’s to Bill

 

Bill Has Done It Again !

They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English.

 

I can’t even talk the way these people talk:

 

                            Why you ain’t,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be…

 

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

 

And then I heard the father talk.

 

Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

 

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

 

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around.

 

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

 

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.

 

$500 sneakers for what ?

 

And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

 

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

 

Where were you when he was 2 ?

 

Where were you when he was 12 ?

 

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol ?

 

And where is the father ? Or who is his father ?

 

People putting their clothes on backward: 

Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong ?

 

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something?

 

Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

 

What part of Africa did this come from??

 

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa …….

 

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.

 

I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa … So stop, already! ! !

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ………. And all of them are in jail.

 

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem.

 

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

 

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now.

 

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

 

We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.

 

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

 

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..

 

We cannot blame the white people any longer.’
Dr.. William Henry ‘Bill’ Cosby, Jr., Ed..D.

 

 

WELL SAID, BILL

Christians – Human or Perfect Beings?

Hey there special one,

My definition of a Christian is that, we are believers of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  We are people who have chosen to try our very best to please God, by following His commands and to live a life of Godly example.

Unfortunately, I am of the assumption that Christians/Believers and followers of the Most High God are the most Harshly judged.  These are the assumptions I believe people have of us: we are to always respond correctly and compassionately, we are to always say yes to helping people – even if they are trying to take advantage of us, we should never make mistakes and if we do – here comes the condemnation, we are to always be pleasant – smiling and jolly all the time, it is blasphemous when we try to be honest and share exactly how we are feeling, especially, if it is not a pleasant feeling.  I could go on but I won’t.  Are we perfect beings? I’ll answer that on all our behaves, we are not.

We are human beings as everyone else – except that we have accepted Christ Jesus in our hearts and lives as our Lord and Saviour and guess what you can do this too.  Guess what, If you cut us red blood oozes out of us.  We get angry too which is not a sin.  scripture says be angry and sin not.  We get frustrated, annoyed and hurt as everyone else.  For example, I had a very horrible session with my employers on Friday.  They were on my case about things that were never communicated to me as being apart of my work load.  Both the husband and wife were just at me and at me.  I felt like screaming at them, to back off.  honestly, I wanted to do that so bad but God the Holy Spirit in me helped me not to.  For the entire work day they were just pushing and pushing every button in me to just have me blow up at them.  I honestly, at the time did not remember the scripture that says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  Therefore, I admit that though I might not have said what I wanted to but I did make an error in my reaction to all the attacks.  I sinned by a simple thing I did in their presence.  I won’t say what I did but I know it wasn’t pleasing to God.  I am not the kind of person that curse, I really don’t see the sense in using all the indecent language but I was at the edge of letting out a few.  I honestly, just went home and went in the bed and slept and when I wasn’t able to sleep, I just laid there.

What am I getting at?  Well, we are not perfect beings, we are striving to be but only God Almighty is perfect.  We are human beings with faults, weaknesses and we will fail in things but thank God that He sent our Saviour Jesus Christ in who we have forgiveness.  Now, am I saying that this is an excuse for us to sin?  Of course not!!!  We should always try to do the right thing.  Some of us even wears bracelets that has the initials WWJD (WHAT WOULD JESUS DO) to help us remember that we are no longer living for ourselves but that our lives should be an example of Christ Jesus.  By the way, I have asked for forgiveness from God and I will be apologizing to my employers on Monday.

I think sometimes that the pressure of all the negatives happening in our lives cause us to stay away from God in these difficult times and because of such, we start believing that we are perfect.  We try so hard to show the world that we do not make mistakes until we become  fakes/pretenders.  We never say what’s really going on with us because we have to put on a good/fake face.  We are not truthful with God – as if He doesn’t know where we are at and what is going on in our lives.  Some of us have not experienced His love or presence for so long that we have gotten use to being without Christ.  We don’t even realize that He is not with us.  We loose who we are in Christ.  Some of us even try to take the place of Christ in people’s lives.  We have become hard because we block God out and have started relying on our own strength.  The joy of the Lord has long gone from some of our lives.  We can’t clap, dance or lift our hands in church anymore; we are so dry from staying away so long. 😦

If this is you, right now God is calling you to come home.  Come back to your first love.  He says, 

 He says, there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus….God loves the backsliders.  He is calling us home.  Come now, do not wait a moment longer.  He says, He will never leave or forsake you… Listen!  For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have ever lasting life.

We are human beings striving to please God Almighty. God is our help and source!!!

Thank God I don’t have to do it on my own!!

Shalom my friends,

Talk soon